A Strange Longing
by JustAnotherFan15
Summary: The first time Percy was kissed, he felt cold. Ashamed, though he wasn't sure why. Then a voice came to him, but it didn't give him any answers, only a sense of longing. Every time someone showed interest in him, he shied away mentally, unable to understand his own feelings. He needed answers, but there was no one to give them.


**EDIT: MAJOR NEWS! PLEASE READ! The first chapter for the FULL FIC is now UP! Yes, you heard me, the first chapter is UP! If you liked this story and/or is companion piece, please go over to _Long Awaited_ , the FULL FIC! Thank you for your time! (8/25/18)**

 **Hello, one and all! My name is JustAnotherFan15, but you can call me JAF!**

 **For those who might know me, yes! I have finally finished one of those one-shots that I am using to get back into writin'! *hugs readers***

 **For those who don't, I've been havin' a bit of a Writer's Block and depression crisis for a while, and if 'ya really want to know what's up, please look at my profile for details. That's up to you though, so don't feel that you have to do so.**

 **So, that's the first-things-first serious bit, on to more fun things! Though I admit, I wasn't entirely sure what genre to put this in, so if y'all have a better idea on it, please let me know. I'm a bit rusty. More details on this story below! (Though not a whole lot.)**

 **Summery: The first time Percy was kissed, he felt cold. Ashamed, though he wasn't sure why. Then a voice came to him, but it didn't give him any answers, only a sense of longing. Every time someone showed interest in him, he shied away mentally, unable to understand his own feelings. He needed answers, but there was no one to give them.**

 **Sounds a lot deeper then it probably is. But if you want answers, read on! Hopefully you'll get some! Unlike Percy...**

 **Also, I'ma only gonna say this once, so you can't blame me for anythin': there are elements/implied possible same gender romance. That means there's gay elements, people. I'll give my usual 'love, hate, comment' at the end, but I _will not_ tolerate homophobic comments or language in _anyway, shape or form._ I _will not_ tolerate such behavior. I will block you, and I will do so with a possibly sadistic smile on my face and wielding a sword of vengeance.**

 **Thank you for your time, please enjoy the fic.**

 _ **Edit: I cleaned up the spelling, and learned how to spell Telekhines. Date: 5/8/2018**_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson or Spider-Man. I merely own my own thoughts, ideas, and imagination. Thank you for understanding.**

* * *

It was a shock, when Annabeth kissed him.

Percy hadn't been expecting it, hadn't considered the possibility of it, even remotely. So when he felt the daughter of Athena's lips press onto his cheek in a swift kiss, filled with a meaning he could barely grasp, he started, eyes wide.

A rush of emotions ran through him, shock being the most prominent. Shock, elation, hope, surprise. _Shame._

They had stopped on a walkway, Percy telling Annabeth to head back to Hephaestus while he stayed behind to fight off the telekhines. They wouldn't both make it, he argued, when she demanded what he was doing. They needed to complete their agreement with the god to continue her quest.

 _Our_ quest, she shot back, unwilling to leave him behind. Percy quickly, gently, _urgently_ , shoved her towards the exit. They could hear the monsters getting closer now, they didn't have time to argue. _Go!_ Percy shouted, uncapping Riptide and preparing for what might be his last battle.

Annabeth must have realized it was no use to argue with him, because a defeated look entered her beautiful gray eyes. Uncertainty followed soon after, and before Percy could ask, _what was she waiting for? She needed to hurry!_ she darted forward and pressed her lips carefully to his cheek.

He'd frozen in shock, a startled flinch racking through him, his eyes widening. She pulled back, told him to come back alive and hurried after the small mechanical spider that had disappeared through the entrance just moments before.

Percy had stood there, frozen in shock as the howls and barks of the telekhines echoed through the cavern, getting ever closer. The swirl of emotion rooting him in place as each one battled for dominance in his mind.

Shock. Yeah, he was definitely shocked. He certainly hadn't expected her to kiss him, even on the cheek.

Elation. He was just kissed (on the cheek) by the girl he _might_ have a tiny crush on. Who wouldn't be ecstatic about that?

Hope. Did Annabeth like him that way as well? Did she harbor feelings that were less-than platonic towards him?

Surprise. The next emotion surprised him. If he was surprised by Annabeth kissing him (on the cheek), then what he felt after it threw him off his feet.

 _Shame._ Why? Why did he feel this stab of shame in his gut when Annabeth kissed him on the cheek? Why did he feel as though he was betraying someone? Why did he feel nothing but coldness, even though he was surrounded by magma?

Something tickled at the back of his mind. A soft sound rang in his ears: laughter. He couldn't place where he'd heard the voice before – actually, he was certain he'd _never_ heard that voice before – but it sent a warm feeling through his body, chasing away the strange coldness that seeped into his bones. A coldness that ran through him when Annabeth had kissed his cheek?

And there was another thing. Why was he so adamant on that? _Just a kiss on the cheek_. It could mean anything. It could have been a sisterly kiss; a thank you kiss, no strings attached. It didn't _have_ to mean Annabeth had even the slightest of romantic feelings towards him. Why was he so insistent that it was _just a kiss on the cheek. It meant nothing._

These thoughts all raced through Percy's head in the seconds it took the telekhines to catch up with him. He raised his sword and banished all thoughts but those of the upcoming battle from his head.

This might be his last one, after all.

* * *

He had a lot of time to think, while on Calypso's island.

He'd been tempted to stay, to forget about the world and the approaching war, Kronos, and the prophecy no one would talk to him about. About Mt. Saint Helens.

He couldn't stay though. He couldn't leave his friends behind, to fight without him. He had to go back, to help them and find Grover and Tyson, to make sure Annabeth got out alive.

So he told Calypso goodbye, promised that she could be free from her island, and got on the raft. All the while knowing that she and Ogygia would be his biggest _what if?_

Percy's mind wandered back to the catwalk as he stood on the raft, willing it to take him home. To the kiss and the array of emotions that had plagued him. To the laughing voice that made him warm, even now. He quickly shoved them way; the memory and the emotions. The laugh that ran through his head.

The voice... he'd heard it, again, while on Ogygia.

Every time he thought about staying, of not going home, the voice came back. It wasn't laughing this time, but scolding him.

 _What are you thinking, Percy? You're just going to leave your friends behind? Your mother?_ It demanded. He couldn't hear it properly, as though it was coming from a long way away and through a windy tunnel. Yet he still heard the words it spoke, loud and clear. _What about Grover and Tyson? Are you willing to just leave them in the Labyrinth? What about Annabeth? Could you ever forgive yourself if you made it out alive, but she didn't? Over something **you** did?_

No, he couldn't. He couldn't leave his friends behind.

 _You can't leave your mother, either,_ it told him seriously. _How would she feel if you never came home?_

Horrible. Percy would never forgive himself for doing something to hurt his mother. She was his world long before he learned of his heritage.

 _You can't leave them, Percy,_ the voice continued softly. It no longer sounded scolding; it sounded soothing, understanding. _You know you can't. You have the power to help them, protect them. You have the **responsibility** to do so. Don't forget that Percy. Please?_

That had broke him, the soft plea to not forget his responsibility to his friends and family. He made his decision, and left that morning.

He arrived at Camp Half-Blood, and Percy didn't hear the voice again for months.

* * *

When Rachel kisses him, the shame comes back full force, but he doesn't have time to process it or her kiss. He needs to stay focused, to go with Beckendorf and complete the mission.

He does tell Beckendorf not to tell Annabeth, though he feels as though he should be concerned about someone else...

* * *

As he walks into the River Styx, Percy considers his own insanity to agree to such a plan.

Maybe its because he feels he owes Nico, maybe he honestly believes (or at least _hopes_ ) that the plan will work. Maybe, and he refuses to even admit this to himself, he wants to hear the voice again.

He barely gets ten steps in before he falls face-first into the water(?) and begins to feel the effects of the river. Its as though it's tearing his soul apart, and with a mental start of fear (he's in too much pain to move) he realizes that it _is_. Panic sets in as he remembers what the ghost of Achilles told him, to focus on what ties him to the mortal plane, to imagine it holding him to living

He tries to think of something; his mother, Grover, Blackjack, Annabeth, anything he thinks ties him to the living. The _now_.

 _You moron. What are you doing to yourself?_ The voice is back, scolding him and sounding equal parts terrified and impressed. Percy wants to listen to the voice, to hear what it has to say, because he's pretty sure that it's still talking, but everything... is... slowing...

 _Percy!_ The voice ripped through the fog clouding his mind, jolting him back to the present. He can hear it better now, and, he realizes with a lot less surprise then he should, (he'll be more surprised by his lack of surprise later) that its the voice of a boy. He sounded Percy's age, maybe a bit younger, but Percy could _hear him_.

 _Percy, come back,_ the voice was begging now. _Please, Percy! Come back._

Percy _tried,_ he did! But he was so _tired..._

An image suddenly came to him, flowing across his mind like a gentle wave. The image of a young boy, maybe fourteen or fifteen; soft brown hair in a eternal rats nest, as though he just rolled out of bed; pale skin with a splash of freckles across the bridge of his nose; and the brightest, most stunning pair of hazel eyes Percy had ever seen, with little flecks of green and gold in them. Somehow, Percy got the feeling that the boy was looking right at him, a soft, fond look in those warm eyes.

 _Come back home, Percy,_ the voice – no, the _boy_ – said quietly, reaching a hand out to him. It was smaller then Percy's own, the boy being small for his age, though not overly so.

Percy grasped the boy's hand, suddenly remembering where he was and what he was doing there. And as the boy pulled him back, he imagined that his tie in the small of his back.

* * *

They had won.

The Second Titan War (as a few campers were calling it) had ended earlier that day, and as Percy sat in the pavilion alone, his mind wandered.

He thought about the voice, it had vanished again, after Percy had climbed out of the Styx, his tie in the small of his back. He hadn't thought about it during the war, but there hadn't been much time _to_ think about it.

He thought about Luke, and Silena, Micheal Yew, Beckendorf, everyone who died in the war.

About Annabeth almost joining them.

She'd been hit while they were fighting together. A monster had come up behind Percy, and nearly managed to strike his weak spot, but something had stopped it. An arrow had come flying out of nowhere to kill the monster, Percy just barely spinning around to watch it crumble to dust and realize what had nearly happened before Annabeth cried out. She had jerked around when the arrow had struck the monster, distracting her from her own assailants, and it nearly cost her her life.

Percy shuddered, bringing his mind back into the now. If he hadn't managed to fight off the monsters and send the enemy demigods packing...

 _Easy, Perce,_ the voice soothed suddenly. Percy startled, not having expected the boy's voice to return. _Annabeth's fine. She's safe, you saved her._

Percy dropped his head into his hands and let out a shaky breath. He didn't know what he'd do if Annabeth...

 _It's okay Percy,_ the boy's voice told him. _It's **okay.**_

There was another meaning there, Percy knew. It sounded like he was giving Percy... permission?

Annabeth suddenly appeared by his side, holding a lopsided blue cupcake. They talked for a little while before Annabeth brought up Rachel and the Oracle. Honestly, Percy was both relieved and terrified by that. Terrified that Rachel might turn out like May Castellan and lose her mind. Relieved, because as the Oracle, she was forbidden from being in a relationship, having to be an eternal maiden or something (to be honest, Percy wasn't entirely sure on the details, he'd been a bit busy panicking over the whole possibility of her losing her mind). It was one problem he didn't have to worry about anymore.

And then Annabeth was staring at him, clearly thinking about something, and Percy thought he knew what it was, but that cold feeling was back and...

 _It's okay, Percy._

The boy's tone soothed Percy's mind and he suddenly realized what the boy was saying. They had never met, and Percy wasn't even sure if the boy was real, but he was telling Percy it was _okay_. Percy could have Annabeth. He didn't mind.

A sense of relief and longing stabbed Percy's heart, and he suddenly wanted to talk to the boy, to know for _sure_...

And then the campers were kidnapping him and Annabeth, and there was an underwater kiss and Percy felt a quick press against his mind and then...

That was the last time Percy heard from the boy.

* * *

Percy couldn't remember a whole lot.

He knew his name, that he was a demigod, that his father was _apparently_ the immortal god of the sea, and that the snake-haired ladies were _really_ annoying. Oh, and no matter the fact that _they couldn't die_ , _he_ didn't seem to be able to either.

He could also remember a name.

 _Peter._

Percy wasn't sure why, because although he couldn't remember anything about his past, he was fairly sure he never met a Peter before. Yet...

Yet he felt a _warmth,_ when he thought the name. He thought of a laugh he couldn't hear, and of a person he couldn't see. He thought of a tie, in the small of his back.

 _Peter._

The name _meant_ something to him, but he wasn't sure what, and when he asked about the name to his new friends, Frank and Hazel, they didn't know either. All the Peters they knew didn't know Percy, and Percy just _knew_ that they weren't the _Peter_ he was thinking of.

It hurt, to think of _Peter_ , though Percy wasn't sure why. Every time he thought of the name, warmth ran though him, longing, guilt.

When Reyna made advances, Percy turned her down as politely as he could. He didn't know exactly what this _Peter_ meant to him, but he couldn't, _couldn't_ be with someone until he knew...

They were on a quest, him, Frank and Hazel. They had to find and free Death, and Percy couldn't help but feel as though _Peter_ would have a field day with that statement alone...

They ran through a library and Percy thought about how _Peter_ would love being in a place like this, so many books to go through...

He called his mother while they were in Alaska, the Land Beyond the Gods (he didn't know if it came capitalized or not, but if it wasn't, it should be). As he spoke, he choked on his words. Because he missed her and his stepfather, and because he almost told her to tell _Peter_ that he missed him.

 _Peter._

 _Who are you to me?_

Why did _guilt_ run through him when he thought his name?

By the time they got back to Camp Jupiter, Percy remembered everything. He remembered his friends, his mother and stepfather, Camp Half-Blood, his girlfriend Annabeth. _Everything._

Everything, except _Peter._

He thought of the voice, of the boy he hadn't heard from since the Second Titan War, and thought, _Peter._

That was the boy's name. _Peter._

He had a name, a face, a voice. But he had never met _Peter_ before. And that hurt, sent the longing through him and the coldness when he thought that he should be thinking of Annabeth in such a way. The guilt came back, and Percy realized, lying in his bunk in the Fifth Cohort, that he felt guilty being with Annabeth, though he wasn't sure why.

 _It's okay,_ the voice – _Peter –_ had said, and that press against his mind before silence.

It wasn't okay. Not to Percy. It had to stop, _he_ had to stop.

He needed to find _Peter._

* * *

He found him.

" _Peter?"_

" _Percy?"_

* * *

 **And so ends my first one-shot at my attempt to return to the world of writin'! As it has been a while, I hope you'll let me know about any spelling errors so I can fix them.**

 **How was it? Did you like it? Hate it? Have no real opinion, but want to comment anyway? Go ahead! I'm not picky. But as stated above, I will not tolerate homophobic language or comments.**

 **And in case you didn't know by the category yer in, this is a Percy Jackson/Spider-Man crossover. As in, its pretty much just characters from Spider-Man in the Percy Jackson universe, with some twists. Hopefully, this will eventually lead to a full story startin' somewhere in the later books of the _Heroes of Olympus_ series and onward.**

 **Onto the questions!**

 **Who is this Peter that Percy hears? Why does Percy feel such longing for him? When will they meet? _How_ will they meet? What will happen?**

 **Hopefully, we'll all find out at some point!**

 **So, until next time my fine, furry friends! -JAF logging out!**


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